Write yourself a love letter. Take yourself on a date. Whisper assuring words to yourself. These are ways to show that you care...about YOU! Self love is NOT selfishness. It CAN be if you live consistently with the idea that all of your needs come before anyone or anything else. However what I am describing is about valuing yourself and believing that you have self-worth. It means not listening to the inner critic who can easily put yourself down; "I can't do that, Your so stupid, fat, why would anyone like you"..... The negative inner dialogue can continue and continue can't it?
What would it look like if you begin this Valentines day by showing yourself love? Easy peasy for some and for others you might not know where to begin, right? What if you told your "self" .... "I CAN!" instead of "I CAN'T!" It can be easier for us to express our appreciation to a friend through a card and compliment a loved one rather then express that same type of appreciation and love to ourselves.
But you CAN.... begin today to show love towards yourself by making time for yourself for self-care; take a warm bath or go get that doctors check-up you have been putting off. Both of these are self-care. Sit down and journal your thoughts, reflect on your day, write yourself an affirming letter, or better yet, write a love letter to yourself. Remember, self-love is not selfish. If you would like others to show you love, respect and caring then shouldn't you be showing that same love, respect and caring for your own self first?
Start by nourishing yourself today. You have to nourish to flourish. How can you grow if you don't water yourself? If you are always talking negatively to yourself, then you won't gain self-confidence. Cultivate kind inner dialogue with yourself. Of if you are not taking care of your physical body through neglect or abuse of some kind, or paying attention to your emotional and mental well being then you are showing yourself neglect.
Today you can practice showing yourself self-love. One idea to start you in this process is to think of at least three things that you like about yourself. Write them down. Do this daily for a week.
Begin today by cultivating kindness for yourself. You are the only self you have. As you do confidence, caring and self-love will follow.
Shahna Duerksen, M.A. AMFT#101647
Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist
Supervised by Rose T. Gamino, LMFT #48756
1616 W. Shaw Ave., Ste. D1, Fresno, Ca. 93711
Phone: 559/512-0736, Email: Shahna.Duerksen@yahoo.com
Website: Http://shahnaduerksen.wixsite.com/therapy