Practice the Pause
- Shahna Duerksen, MA, LMFT @shahnaduerksen
- Feb 4
- 2 min read
by Shahna Duerksen, M.A., LMFT, June 2025
Pausing with intention...why?
A very short answer is that it slow's us down to focus on, engage with, observe, think and feel on what in a normal day would go unnoticed or be automatic.
How does one take time for purposeful pauses? Intentionally pausing to focus can look many ways such as taking time for the small things; smelling a flower, candle or cup of coffee, or maybe it's running your hand over a fluffy blanket feeling the texture, the smoothness and noticing the calming affect it has on you. It could be taking time looking at the breeze ruffling the leaves in the tree or blades of grass or observing how a kind smile brightens up your day. Or another example is of listening to the laughter of children, the stillness of the house or your breath as you slowly inhale and exhale. These are a few ways that even in the small overlooked daily things of life that one can take purposeful pauses ..... purposeful with intention..... to connect with their internal thoughts/emotions/feelings/sensations and external happenings. These pauses of connection to ones internal and external worlds can bring calmness when one feels anxiety or panic or some other intense emotion such as fear, anger, depression or more.
Practicing the Pause helps manage intense emotions like anxiety, which can manifest physically, such as through heart palpitations or an upset stomach. For example, if a bulldozer suddenly enters your lane while driving, you might instinctively react with fear and anger, yelling or banging on the steering wheel. Without a pause, there's no gap between the incident and your reaction. Pausing allows you to notice your fast heartbeat or flushed face, recognize your emotions, and choose healthier responses like deep breathing, relaxation techniques, or talking to someone, instead of reacting with yelling or other unhealthy behaviors.
Take time today for purposeful pauses. "Practice the pause!"
The February 2025 blog article has been updated in June 2025. Shahna Duerksen, M.A., LMFT #140986, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist located in Fresno, CA, providing both in-person therapy (Fresno, CA) and tele-health services throughout California. Shahna aims to help de-stigmatize mental illness and make it a normal topic of conversation for everyone. She enjoys photography, humor, and travel, often blending these interests into adventurous escapades. Her practice mainly centers on women's experiences. For more details and mental health resources, visit Instagram @shahnaduerksen, psychologytoday.com and to schedule appointments, go to headway.co/providers/shahna-duerksen
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