"I'm proud of me: Feeling Confident, Might delete later"

by Shahna Duerksen, LMFT, June 2025

Hi All. This is a repost of an October 2021 blog I wrote when I felt Fall in the air and Pumpkin spice everything, sweater weather, although it was still in the 80s. I was determined to ring in that Fall season with puffy big Southern hair (I'm from the South ya'll), trying the new hat trend and selfie sweater photos. Honestly to be a little vulnerable here, I think I feel my most confident in the fall and winter. When do you feel the most confident?

Have you heard the expression that many social media users use while taking a photo of themselves where they feel pretty and they'll say, "feeling cute, might delete later"? I've said and done that before. Have you? Why do we do that?

As women we at times live in this place of comparing ourselves to others, especially the perfect filtered Instagram photos out there we find ourselves scrolling through. We have moments of confidence where yes, we are "feeling cute", or strong or empowered or confident, take a photo, like it and spontaneously throw it up on Facebook, instagram etc. We hover our finger over the button and in the split second it takes us to press the button to post it to our public accounts our confidence level is already decreasing and our negative self-talk has increased, thus the saying of "might delete later" and at times seeking validation.

I've wrestled at what to post on my personal and professional accounts, in wanting to portray the "right" image. As I begain exercising and running I at times had a battle rage within myself of feeling so proud of myself and wanting to post my photos of running, of fun races I'm in, the landscape, and the views to share with others, and yes as a statement to myself that I'm proud of me. And yet, overthinking and overanalyzing kicked in with thinking that the photos weren't the most flattering and wondering what others would think of my npost. And then all of a sudden I'm not proud of me, my joy and excitement is reduced and my confidence level has plummetted that I felt five seconds ago when posting. This internal dialogue can be, and is, exhausting. Does anyone else do this? I know I'm not alone in this.

So this is my encouragement to us all; allow yourself to feel that feeling of confidence, empowerment, cuteness, sexiness, attractiveness, enjoyment and take the photo, post it if you wish and do not delete it later. Be proud of you! Let's post and share and encourage others to feel confident in your own beautifully imperfect skin. #shahnaduerksen #selfacceptance #bodyimage #positivebodyimage #mentalhealth #MentalHealthMonth #mentalhealthmonday #motivationalmonday #depressionandanxiety #depressionawareness #selfcareisforeveryone #selfcaretips #survivingorthriving #celebritymentalhealt

The October 2021  blog article has been updated in June 2025. Shahna Duerksen, M.A., LMFT #140986, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist located in Fresno, CA, providing both in-person therapy (Fresno, CA) and tele-health services throughout California. Shahna aims to help de-stigmatize mental illness and make it a normal topic of conversation for everyone. She enjoys photography, humor, and travel, often blending these interests into adventurous escapades. Her practice mainly centers on women's experiences. For more details and mental health resources, visit Instagram @shahnaduerksen, psychologytoday.com and to schedule appointments, go to headway.co/providers/shahna-duerksen