"I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down!" Resilence is what helps you to cope when life is hard. Life can be painful, messy and difficult requiring good coping skills. Helping clients learn how to cope with life is a part of my job as an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist that I enjoy. Many times a client already has some coping skills that need to be strengthened and at other times the coping skills a client has been relying on are maladaptive and unhealthy patterns that need to be recognized and changed.
What is Resilience? A quick online definition look-up states, "the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties". British rock band Chumbawamba (Who?....I know right?) may have described resilience best in their song lyrics, "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down". This is resilience, tenacity, and toughness. Learning to 'get back up again' and cope in healthy ways when life is hard. I know, I know. It is easier said than done in many cases. When one is feeling knocked down by adversity, depression, anxiety, relationship distress and other life and mental and emotional heath problems, it can really be hard to persevere and push yourself to get back up again.
How do you build resilience or learn the coping skills for it? Good question. These things can be learned. Think about what you CAN control when things in your life seem out of your control. Build self--awareness; how do you usually deal with stress, what are your strengths, what has helped you in the past? Find healthy coping strategies that help you remain calm such as journaling, exercising, listening to music, talking with a trusted friend, or getting help from a professional. Strength comes as you learn to be resilient, and when you find yourself knocked down with circumstances that are hard you are stronger and better equipped to handle them, using healthy coping skills to get through them and not stay down or defeated. You resiliently stand back up, brush yourself off, recognize that was painful and realize your still able to stand and you weren't defeated by the life stressor. You are capable to handle hard things!
Action for the Reader: Remind yourself today you are resilient and can and will handle anything life throws at you! Ask for help from a trusted friend or professional therapist. Let me know if this article was helpful and encouraging for you.
(Mental / Emotional Health Resources: I love the "Resilence is my Superpower" and other Resilience activities that a Big Life Journal is offering of how to teach Resilience to kids. Adults can benefit from these products as well. They send out a free printable every Friday for those that are signed-up on different topics fo mental and emotional health and well-being, they have a blog and you can purchase their Journals, Growth mindset, Self-esteem kits, Resilience products and so much more. Check them out at; Big Life Journal on instagram and website biglifejournal.com. (This is not a sponsored ad for them. I just really like their affirming products. I am looking into their affiliation program as I may want to use some of their products in my therapy practice with my clients of all ages. Check them out. Additional Resources: Kids Help Line https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/building-resilience is Australia based phone and online counseling service for ages 5-25. Great online resources on mental and emotional health for anyone, anywhere to benefit from on topics such as being Resilient and many other mental and emotional health topics.)
(About the author: Shahna Duerksen is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in a private practice setting offering psychotherapy to adolescents, children 12 years of age and older, teens, young adults, adults and couples. Located in the Fresno, California area and serving surrounding local communities. She can be reached through her website; http://shahnaduerksen.wixsite.com/therapy and Facebook; Shahna Duerksen, Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and Instagram; Shahna Duerksen, AMFT).
Comments