Where are the Casseroles? Treatment of Physical Illness vs. Mental Illness

by Shahna Duerksen, LMFT, June 2025

*Annie breaks an arm and is 'overwhelmed' with get well cards, casseroles, flowers and rides to the doctor for her physical problems. *Laura is absent from school, work or church because of experiencing symptoms of depression, bipolar or anxiety mental health illness and disorders. Laura is 'underwhelmed' with lack of get well cards, offers of meals (casseroles) or rides to appointments.

Why are there differences between the way someone with a physical illness versus a mental illness are treated by others? Their are multiple reasons. When someone is diagnosed with a “physical” illness it is usually a visible illness where others rally around them for support and encouragement while someone with a mental illness often has an illness that is not visible to others and often time they suffer alone.

Laura's friends may feel uncomfortable with how to 'fix' her mental illness and 'make it better', with maybe fear of the unknown; something they don't understand or have experienced themselves. These unknown factors may bring questions up of would offering a casserole or giving a get well card even be appropriate. Laura may go about her daily functioning and keep her mental illness of depression or bipolar diagnosis to herself for fear of social isolation and stigma associated with mental illness.

Just as in any other physical illness, mental illness does not define a person. But in many cases it is a lifelong disease and is treatable.

Call for Action by the reader: Laura needs to have the same encouragement and support offered to her that Annie is receiving. DON'T be afraid of mental illness weather it is your own or someone elses. Educate yourself on the mental illness you have or your friend has. DO offer casseroles and send encouragement get well cards to the' Laura's' in your community and remember you don't have to 'fix' them, just sit 'with' them, play scrabble with them, watch a movie together and simply offer your PRESENCE as their friend...just the same as you would offer for a friend with a physical illness. SEND the hope-filled card validating their experience WITHOUT cliches letting them know they are seen and heard and that you are 'WITH' them in their illness.

And to the 'Laura's'... learn to let trusted people know what you are ill with and accept their support. To all; It's okay to be 'not okay' weather it is a physical or a mental illness you are struggling with. Give and Receive Encouragement and Go bake that Casserole! (*fictitious names created for this article).

The March 2019  blog article has been updated in June 2025. Shahna Duerksen, M.A., LMFT #140986, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist located in Fresno, CA, providing both in-person therapy (Fresno, CA) and tele-health services throughout California. Shahna aims to help de-stigmatize mental illness and make it a normal topic of conversation for everyone. She enjoys photography, humor, and travel, often blending these interests into adventurous escapades. Her practice mainly centers on women's experiences. For more details and mental health resources, visit Instagram @shahnaduerksen, psychologytoday.com and to schedule appointments, go to headway.co/providers/shahna-duerksen